I know I don't have many who read this. And I have failed to do my duty of updating. But tonight as I sit here, I ache with a great loss and ask the few of you who do read this to pray for my family as we are grieving the loss of someone so very dear to all of us.

My Great Grandma fought a long hard battle. She passed away early this morning with her family by her side. She struggled for breath for a long time and she suffered for more than a week with out food due to her inability to even take it in. She has finally found peace and no more pain in heaven. Finally joining with her God who she has longed to see and putting the sins of this world behind her. Then passionately coming face to face with the husband who she lost over 26 years ago and waited for ever since. And finally rejoicing and praising God with all the others she has loved dearly and ached for as she saw go home to heaven in her many years here on earth. My great grandma was 90 years old.

Though I've been at my grandma's side all week as she's entered her into her last days on earth and like the rest of the family have had many resltless and some nights of no sleep at all as I sat by my grandmother's side. I made the decision, with great influence from my family, to go on an overnight trip with James that had been paid for months ago. I said my final goodbyes, as I had a feeling she would not make it through the night, and then James and I headed off for Raleigh yesterday afternoon. I called a few times yesterday to check in and told them to make sure to call us if she went to be with Jesus during the night. We had planned to head out around 5 this morning and to be back around 8. Mom called with news around 5:30 not to head out too early that she didn't think Grandma would be too much longer before she went to meet Jesus. But we still decided to head home anyway. I wanted desperately to be back near everyone.

On our way home a song by Alan Jackson titled "Sissy's Song" came on. This overwhelming feeling came over me and in that moment I knew Grandma had passed. Before the song was even over my phone started ringing and it was mom.... confirming what I already knew.

It sounds weird doesn't it? But I couldn't tell you in a thousands words how real and true it was. It was like Grandma was telling me herself. "Don't worry about me, I'm home now. Don't worry about the decision you made to go on the trip, I'm home now. I'm in Heaven." It's so amazing to me how God can do things just right. I was kicking myself for not staying. Though, I was so glad to be with James and I know I made the right decision in my heart. I hated that I couldn't be there for Grandma. I was worried that she would have wanted me there. I was worried that I could have done something to console my family. I hated that I was going to have find out through a phone call. And I really didn't like the panicky feeling everytime my phone rang because of the news I was expecting. It was such a hard decision to be away. Then, God allows for this perfect song to play. I didn't need to panic when the phone rang that time, I already knew. God does take care of us... and all the senseless worries that we have.

And God will take care of us now. When our hearts are breaking for our loss and in all the same breath rejoicing for the gain that our Father has. He will take care of and personally catch every tear that drops. And he will give Grandma all the hugs that we can't. He will take care of her too. God is good.... all the time.

Please, if you could pray for my entire family as we grieve and prepare for the week ahead I would be grateful to you.

"She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels

By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees

And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting

And I know she's smiling saying

Don't worry 'bout me"